Why won't my mascara love me?

I think it isn't much to ask that a mascara changes my life, is it? I want so little: darken, lengthen, curl, separate, more fullness, eyes that sparkle, skin that is luminous, a holiday in the Bahamas and a Ferrari. I do not think this is extreme in the least. The mantra of the make-up junkie is: "I want. I want. I want." Everyone knows that.

On a more serious note, why is it so difficult to find a mascara that multitasks? Why if it lengthens, can it not thicken? And curl? Or separate? Or any of the 10 different functions one demands from a mascara? If it is a matter of the brush shape, why not sell us different brushes along with the mascara? It seems insane that I need to buy four or five different mascaras in my drive to find a look that satisfies.

My make-up space resembles an ode to mascara. There is mascara everywhere. Putting on makeup involves a whole half an hour dedicated merely to the various layers of mascara. And that's just for the natural look. This isn't right. It's hell by mascara. There is so much more I could be doing with my time, like putting on lipstick.

It also wreaks havoc on working out the 'use by' date. Somewhere in a dark recess of my mind I believe that since I bought five mascaras, they remain safe five times as long. I have a sneaky feeling that the bacteria haven't bought into my mascara philosophy.

In my quest for the ultimate mascara look - I call it lash lucious (although only when I am alone and noone can hear me) - I have come upon a swizzy little tool that genuinely makes a difference. It's by Model Co and it's an eyelash heater wand. It heats up and when placed against your lashes actually (and I mean really really) makes them curl up further. So far I haven't had any fall out, be it lashes or temper, so I am a happy little camper with this find.

Once you get over the vague strangeness of heating up your lashes, it's smooth sailing. It's surprisingly s difficult to poke out your eye and the heat is moderate. It just feels warm when you touch the heated wand. See what I do in name of research?

So for all those who have mascara mania, the journey has not ended when it comes to finding The One but it's definitely sprinted up with this heated little number.